


He's Not You

by MysticallyGallavich



Series: Prompts for my lovelies [39]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angsty begining, Brief mentions of the boys with others, Fionacomesaround, Gallavich, Happy Endin, Jealous!Ian, Love, M/M, Mickey FWB Tony, Mickey is pissed, Supportive Lip, prompt, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:39:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: I’d like to request a fic where Mickey comes back after a few years, cleared from charges, and begins a FWB with Tony Markovich. Mickeys getting his shit together (work, school, yev) but he’s still pissed/hurt with Ian. Ian’s jealous but still with Trevor. I would love a scene where Ian’s in jail and an angry mickey visits him. Eventually Mickey and Ian bang and make up and live happily ever after!





	He's Not You

**Author's Note:**

> Before anybody freaks out...if you read my stuff, you know...trust me. This took a lot for me to write mainly bc I don't like Tony. lolol. ANYWAYS i think it turned out pretty well. Take a look, lemme know what you think.

Mickey Milkovich didn’t know how he got himself into these situations, He had been doing stupid shit since well…forever.  He didn’t know which was at the top of the list.  His entire childhood was spent knocking off houses and stores and doing runs with his family. But that wasn’t in this, that was survival, it was the only way to grow up in that house. Then again everything thing he did, almost everything could be warranted survival. Everything but falling for Ian Gallagher. Maybe that was at the top of the stupid decisions list. Not that it was a decision. One day he was fucking the kid, and the next minute, before he even saw it happening…he was in love with the asshole.  Which is the main thing that led him to do some of his stupidest shit.

Got himself arrested again…not like it was a surprise, he always knew he would end up back there.  Breaking out…well that had been interesting but he had done it, and it would have been worth it all, except the main reason he did it was to have Ian back…and that shit didn’t pan out, did it? Not me anymore mick, he had told him. Fuck that shit…he had heard plenty about Ian since he had left..and that was obviously bullshit. But he didn’t have time to worry about that.

If anyone asked…why he had done what he did…Why he had decided to not only turn himself in after only months of being safe across the border…but offering to put his father away for…some time served or some shit. He told them he wouldn’t do it if there was any chance he would end up anywhere near his father because fuck that. 

So that’s how he had ended up back in Chicago, and that was months ago. So much shit had happened since then. So many things.  Starting with the second he was a free man, which didn’t take long once the feds had Terry locked back up, for a long time too. No chance of this bullshit good behavior or overcrowding shit again. He had headed straight for the jail…ironic wasn’t it…that he…Mickey Milkovich would finally be free and he would end up back here again. Fucking Gallagher. But he swallowed down the bile from being back in this place because he had some shit to say and he could only say it if Ian was behind that glass, unable to weaken his resolve.

He had marched into that jail. even though he got catcalls from even the cops he flipped them off.  That’s the first time he had come face to face with Tony Markovich since he had been a teenager really. He got passed him and waited for them to bring Ian out. Mickey kind of wished he could have recorded Ian’s face when he saw him. His eyes widened and he looked around rushing to the seat.

“What are you doing? They’re gonna lock you back up.” Ian said worriedly, and Mickey would take that into his mind and remember it later. Ian still gave a shit.

“I'm a free man..unlike someone else I know.” He said pointing to the glass and to Ian raising his eyebrows.

“What do you mean free? You ran away…you still had years left M..” he saw Ian stop himself and look around.

“You can say my name asshole. They know I'm free. I did what I had to do but I'm free now. You should probably think about getting yourself that way. What the fuck were you thinking?” He glared at his ex. What the fuck indeed. He was the one who made stupid calls, not Ian. Not really, besides the army shit…which could be excused by his disorder…well maybe this could too, he wasn’t really sure.

“You’ve done worse,” Ian said matter of factly

“Yeah…for survival. Or you know that love bullshit you were always so fond of…not stupid shit.” He argued and Ian rolled his eyes at him. Which only pissed him off more.

“It wasn’t stupid, those kids needed help. I helped them, the whole thing just got way out of hand.” Mickey shakes his head at the words that Ian speaks. This isn’t right, this isn’t Ian and he decides that he can't keep doing this with him. He has torn himself inside out over Ian Gallagher for far too long and he’s done with it.

“Whatever man, I don’t even know what to say to you right now. You said you couldn’t go with me because it wasn’t you anymore…what exactly wasn’t you anymore then? Huh? Because I assumed it was breaking the law, I assumed that staying stable and with your family and maybe even that little shitthead of a boyfriend you had were all your reasons but it looks like it was all bullshit. You didn’t want to go with me because this…us, you have been done for a long time, and I didn’t want to believe it was true, but I should have. Afterall…you haven’t been the man I fell in love with in a long time, have you? You haven’t loved me…not really… for a long time. Whatever. I’m out. Just remember this…when I was where you are, I had no one. Not even you. And even now after all of it, I still showed the fuck up. Remember that.” He says and he gets up before Ian can say a word to him and walks the fuck out.

 

\--

Thinking back on that, walking out like that, emotions running high, was probably a bad idea, going there had been a worse one, because on the way out he had run into Tony again, Tony Markovich, the same Tony who had been in love with Fiona Gallagher, even though he was apparently gay…must have a thing for lost causes or something. Because Mickey sure as hell was one, done or not he could never love anyone again…not after this. He knew that even then…why he started fucking tony, was still beyond his knowledge..it was a big fucking mistake what had happened that day.  He was heartbroken, he wanted to forget…so he fucked up. And he had fully intended on ending it, one-off, he had had a lot o those in his life. In fact, for the most part, the only one that wasn’t one was Ian.

The thing was before he knew it, it had become a thing of boredom…once or twice, it wasn’t even that good and it wasn’t even how he liked it. Anybody who thought Tony could be a top would be dead fucking wrong and if anybody thought Mickey was letting anyone take him…after…well they’d be wrong too.

So that was a thing that happened and it wasn’t a big deal. Sure Tony was a little clingy, which pissed Mickey off but it wasn’t a big deal…it wasn’t…that was until Tony opened his big fucking mouth…and it got back to Ian. Mickey was one hundred percent sure that shit was on purpose. Mickey didn’t play that game, so while he didn’t deny it when Ian had asked him. Which he did…one day, long after that visit, he had seen Ian out, he looked like shit. Like his whole life had fallen apart, and maybe it had. Mickey could understand that. And just because he was done with it all…didn’t mean he didn’t give a shit. He was even going to ask the red-head how he was. He was the love of his life after all.

Then Ian had to open his big fucking mouth, didn’t he? He had to snap at Mickey and make a comment about who he was or wasn’t fucking. So, of course, Mickey just smirked at him. “What didn’t think anybody would want me after you were done with me? This ass is prime real estate man. Don’t you remember?” he had said it, and instantly felt like an asshole, but he walked away.

\--

When A few weeks later he opened his door to the loud insistent knocking, half expecting it to be Tony again, even though he had been quite clear about that shit being done. Not even tony making comments about how happy Ian was with Trevor would deter him. He didn’t give a shit.  Instead of his ex-fuck whatever standing there, it was his ex-boyfriends very annoying, arrogant older brother. Phillip Gallagher. He looked up as if to ask…the fuck did I ever do?  Of course, he could probably count enough reasons on one hand why he kept being dealt this shit. But whatever.

“What do you want genus?”

“it's Ian.” Lip didn’t smirk, he didn’t pull any punches which Mickey was entirely unused to. His blood ran cold at the look on Lips face. He wanted to be an asshole just because he could but he also knew Lip well enough to know, if he didn’t have to be here, he wouldn’t be. They didn’t like each other, they never really had. But when it came to Ian, if it was important enough, they put the shit to the side, they could snark and fight later.

“What is it?” Mickey sighed, Also noticing how Lips eyebrow raised at him not being an asshole at that moment. He stared for what felt like to Mickey, forever. He couldn’t handle this shit. Not right now. Not like this.  “I ain't got all day. If it's important, speak.”

“He’s out of control…ever since he heard…it doesn’t matter, look…He’s been off since the border thing, but this is worse. With Monica dying, and That gay Jesus bullshit, and Trevor telling him…also not important.  I know you have no reason to help, he walked away, you did everything you could for him and he walked away, and its only fair for you to be out of this shit…and If he was level-headed…he would know that he would understand it…but he’s not and he doesn’t. He’s going to do something stupid.”  Lip wasn’t making all that much sense but Mickey got the gist of it. Ian had lost his shit when he found out about Mickey’s arrangement of sorts with the cop and now he was freaking out. What was he going to do?

“Where is he?” Is all Mickey asked. It didn’t matter that he was pissed off, it didn’t matter whatever it was.

\--

Mickey walked into the Gallagher house, it was late, and the whole family, sans lip who was with him, was sitting in the living room, looking worried, they kept looking up the stairs, Ian was up there, he knew and they didn’t know what the fuck to do with him.

“What are you doing here?” Fiona bites and Mickey rolls his eyes.

“He’s here to help,” Lip says from behind him and she moves to argue but Lip holds up his hand. “No Fi…say what you will about their past, say what you will about who Mickey is, but there is only one person that could ever get to him, and he’s here now, and you are going to let him try to help.”

“Trevor is up there.” Is all she says as she backs off and Mickey shrugs.

“Don’t fucking care.” He says as he walks up the stairs taking them two by two. He keeps an ear out, if he hears moaning, he’s fucking out of here. That isn’t what he hears, however. He hears Trevor frantically trying to talk to Ian. Mickey rolls his eyes.

“Just tell me what to do?!” Trevor begs Ian who is moving around the room, Mickey can hear the familiar sound of Ian’s shuffling feet.  Mickey rolls his eyes again. He could knock..but fuck that. This was his home at one point. He isn’t the one intruding, he tells himself. He kicks at the door and it flies open like it always used to. Ian looks up, his eyes wide and Trevor glares at him. Mickey looks the asshole over and snorts. Seriously?  Ian chose this…and he can't help himself he just thumbs at his bottom lip, the itching in his fist becoming overbearing.

“You…” he points at Trevor. “OUT!”  Trevor puts his best stance on, like a little boy playing a part of being a grown up.

“He’s my boyfriend, this is none of your concern.”

“Mick…” Ian says already knowing.

“Listen here you…if you had this under control I wouldn’t be here, now you have ten seconds to get your ass out of my sight before I throw you out the window.”

“oh yeah…do something to land you back in jail…or is that what you have your little cop boyfriend for…to keep you out of trouble,”  Mickey growls at him.

“Ian…” He looks at his ex in warning who nods.

“Trevor go downstairs, I need to talk to him”

“fucking seriously?” Trevor glares at Mickey who is now standing by the door smirking at him. That’s right you fucking bitch, get the fuck out. 

“Why are you here?” Ian asks as he sits on his bed, looking toward the wall after Trevor is gone.

“For you to own up sweetcheeks,” Mickey says kneeling down in front of Ian. “Look at me, talk.”

“I'm fine.”

“Liar…you were always a shit Liar. Now you have two choices, one I assume like your family that this is all your disorder, I go downstairs count your pills one by one, and haul you off to the hospital. Or two you can tell me the truth…tell me whats in your head, so I can tell how serious this is.”

“so Crazy house or talking?” Ian rolls his eyes and Mickey humans.

“Yup. Get to talking asshole.”

“I cant…its stupid,..the thought of you with…him…god I'm gonna be sick again.” Ian literally runs into his bathroom and throws up. 

“It’s not that bad…not as bad as you with…T-rex over there or whatever the fucking fuck his name is.”

“At least Trevor hasn’t fucked your sister.” He points out reminding Mickey that he had slept with someone who had fucked Fiona..gag.

“You fucked Jimmy's dad…you really wanna throw stones over here red?” He says crossing his arms and Ian shrugs.

“It shouldn’t matter…” Ian admits.

“but it does. Yeah, I get it. What you so pissed about somebody I fucked a few times for anyway? Thought you were too good for this now?”

“you fucked?” Of course, that is what Ian would hear.

“So judgy today. You bottomed for tator tot…so?” He responds. He knew he was being a dick, but he seriously didn’t give a shit right now.  “Seriously Gallagher, have some taste man. Didn’t Mandy say you were fucking some black fireman once or some shit…”

“he cheated on me with a woman…ironic I have that effect on people I guess….so I went and fucked a woman, to see what the deal was.”

“Oh yeah? How’d that work for you…”

“How the fuck did you ever…fucking nasty man.” Ian chuckles at himself and Mickey smiles. A glint of In in there, somewhere.

  
“and what exactly about this life was better for you?”

“nothing actually,” Ian admits sighing. “Mick, I need you to go home now. I love…you being here and all but…like go back to your boyfriend or whatever, I’ll be ok.”  Mickey sees the self-hate radiate from his ex, he recognized it all too well. And not because of when Ian got sick, not because he used to see it every day when he looked in the mirror, after every unsavory thing his father made him do, after every time he got fucked, feeling ashamed, after he let Ian go when he got married, every fucking day he would look at himself and hate himself for breaking Ian’s heart. Until he had him again and promised to never do anything that would make him look at himself like that again.

“Don’t do that. I know that look.” Mickey brings himself up to sit on the bed and turns Ian's body towards him a little harshly but not to hurt him. “tell me the truth. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“I..cant.”

“You want me to go…because you don’t want me here?”  Ian shakes his head.  “You want me to go because the reason you're like this is because your mad that I fucked someone who isn’t you?” Ian looks away. “tough shit princess, look at me.”  Ian looks up.  “yes I was mad at you, I fucked someone, I was not fucked, I fucked him. A few times in fact.  You can hurt for that because it's your right to feel whatever the fuck you feel. But fuck you for shutting down like this, for making me care, You left me, Ian, I loved you, so fucking much, you forgot me as soon as I got locked up and then date these douchebag wannabes. I hate that they have touched you, I hate that anybody but me has touched you… but I deal, I deal because what the fuck else am I gonna do huh? Beg you…I’ve done enough of that already. So stop moping and get over the fact that I fucked someone. You fuck HIM how often? His nasty hands on you…I can't scrub that off and you can't scrub this off.”

“Do you like him?” Ian asks weakly, and Mickey gets up and Groans in frustration, he really hates when Ian doesn’t hear a fucking word he says. So he pushes Ian down hard and straddles his chest, shaking his head at the memory of the first time he did this and what it leads to.

“Listen to me you overlarge fucking ginger asshole. Stop it. You cant do this. You cant. I don’t like him but someday I will like somebody…I’ll never love them, but I will like them, and I can't have you doing this everytime I fuck someone. If you don’t want me, Ian, you have to let me go.  Please, for us both. We can't keep doin this to each other. Back and forth, love and hate, yes and No’s. I’m begging you okay? If you love me, if you ever loved me, don’t keep doing this to me.” His eyes pleading and Ian looks at him in understanding.  He moves to get off of Ian, but is just flipped over instead, Ian is hovering over him.

“I don’t know a lot of things Mickey, I never really did. Ya know?  I only knew one thing, from the second, we were together, I had to have you, more of you. I needed you to kiss me and love me, and Every smile and every touch. You were everything. Before I got sick, if you would have asked me to cross a border with you, I wouldn’t have blinked, it wouldn’t have mattered. But you…I got sick and fuck…I became…this. I want to let you go. I try over and over again. You got locked up and I tried, you got out, and I left you there and I tried, and still…you’re fucking everywhere, I can’t take it anymore. I want to let you go, Mickey, I want to let you be happy with whoever you want to be, to fall in love, to have everything you deserve. I try to let you go…I cant…I can't …you are the one and only single thing that ever fucking mattered. And without you…I'm just fucking lost.” He says holding Mickey’s hands down, a tear escaping his eye. “But I will leave you alone. That I can do. But I will never let you go. I love you too much.”

“then why’d you leave? All the times…why?”

“For you.”

“Bullshit Ian.”

“I’m not who I was Mick. I have literally had to adjust my meds twice this year. I blew up a fuckin Van…I got a tattoo of boobs on my back…thankfully that is covered…I fucked a woman from the El…I chose…to leave you…because no matter what anybody else things Mick…I know you deserve more than this.”  Mickey shook his head and leaned up and captured Ian's lips with his.

Ian loses himself for a moment, wrapping himself up in the warmth that is Mickey.

“Why did you do that?” Ian asks when he finally manages to pull away.

“Fuck you for deciding what is best for me.  I LOVE YOU, and if you don’t love me, that’s fine, but you don’t get to decide what I am and am not capable of doing. You being sick, has fuck all to do with us breaking up. We have survived a lot more than what one illness can give us, don’t play that shit.  You want me for real…then take me…take me like…nobody can…if you want this done, get the fuck off me and walk downstairs.”

There is really no decision that was more important, and yet it wasn’t really a decision at all at this point, The fire in Ian’s eyes answered long before he ever did.

Mickey wasn’t surprised really when Ian started clawing off his clothes.

“I need you, Mickey…I need you.”

\--

Downstairs…

Lip busts up laughing when he hears the moans from upstairs, Trevor is still there of course and he really hates that kid. More than he ever hated Mickey Milkovich.

Trevor looks up at the stairs his eyes wide, anger growing.

“Why are you still here? You obviously lost.” Debbie is the one that voices what everyone is thinking before carl opens the door for Trevor to leave.

“Good fucking riddance…” He says plopping down on the couch. They all turn on the tv to filter out the sounds of Mickey and ian making up.

“This was your plan when you went to get him?” Fiona asks.

“Not exactly, but drop that holier than tho shit Fi. He’s not Jimmy, Mickey was never bad for Ian, not in a long time anyway…you just could never see past your own shit to see it.”

“You really think that?” She asks lightly.

“I really think, that he saved our brother when none of us knew how. I think that the only reason Ian didn’t go off on some bender with Monica a million times, is because of Mickey. So yeah. I really think that.” She nodded at him.

\--

Hours later Fiona is the only one up when Mickey descends the stairs, she watches him from her stool in the kitchen, working over her figures for the apartment complex. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and then looks over at her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gone by morning. He can come see me at mine later.” He says and she shrugs.

“Its cool, stay if you like…” She seems to think for a second, and then nods. “What are you doing for work right now?”  He scoffs at her.

“Can't even wait to find a way to trash me…huh?  I work as a janitor…while I study to take my GED okay? That good enough for you…Queen Fiona?” He snarks and she gets it.

“Not what I meant…kinda looking into needing a bouncer at these apartments I own…”

“I’ll think about it. I gotta…”

“Yeah go ahead.”   


 

 


End file.
